Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.
Anonymous
A canadian Psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog’s IQ. Here’s how it works: If you spend $12.99 for the video, your dog is smarter than you.
Jay Leno
Hate to break it to you, Facebook, but the entire Internet is already a Dislike button.
Josh Groban
How can you ever be late for anything in London? They have a huge clock right in the middle of the town.
Jimmy Kimmel
Here’s some advice: At a job interview, tell them you’re willing to give 110 percent. Unless the job is a statistician.
Comedian Adam Gropman
New York Times writer Amy Chozick giving an example of what
it was like working for a fashion magazine: “A girl got on [the elevator] with a Birkin bag, and her friend goes, ‘Oh, my God, I love your bag;
is that new?’ and she goes, ‘No, I got it, like, a week ago.’”
Source: cosmopolitan.com
I don’t know that there are real ghosts and goblins, but there are always more trick-or-treaters than neighborhood kids.
Robert Brault
Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.
—Alcohol
Josh Hara
How come you never see a headline like “Psychic Wins Lottery”?
Jay Leno
What should you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
A hotel minibar allows you to see into the future and find out what a can of Pepsi will cost in 2020.
Comedian Rich Hall
I got my hair highlighted because I thought some strands were more important than others.
Comedian Mitch Hedberg
>> 60 sweet funny good morning
quotes
If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
George Carlin
Where there’s a will, there’s a relative.
Ricky Gervais
Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Anonymous
Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
Anonymous
War doesn’t determine who’s right. War determines who’s left.
Anonymous
You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
Anonymous
You know your god is man-made when he hates all the same people you do.
Anonymous
I come from a small town whose population never changed. Each time a woman got pregnant, someone left town.
Anonymous
Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.
Bill Cosby
Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that.
George Carlin
The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket
Kin Hubbard
Quotes about smile
Everytime you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.
Mother Teresa
I get home and my son is smiliing or he comes rinning to me. It has just made me grow as an individual and grow as a man.
LeBron James
Before you put on a frown, make absolutely sure there are no smiles available.
Jim Beggs
You’ve got to take the good with the bad, smile with the sad, love what you’ve got.
Anonymous
If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.
Andy Rooney
When I looked out at the people and they look at me and they’re smiling, then I know that I’m loved. That is the time when I have no worries, no problems.
Etta James
Today, give a stranger one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine he sees all day.
Anonymous
I add a smile to everything I swear and that has worked great for me.
David White
One who smiles rather than rages is always the stronger.
Anonymous
Smile, even if it’s a sad smile, because sadder than a sad smile is the sadness of not knowing how to smile.
Anonymous
All people smile in the same language.
Proverb
Stay strong, make them wonder how you’re still smiling.
Anonymous
You’re somebody’s reason to smile.
Chinese proverb
Silence and smile are two powerful tools.
BBC
Remember that there is no happiness in having or in getting, but only in giving. Reach out. Share. Smile. Hug.
Og Mandino
Smile, it’s they key that fits the lock on everyone’s hearts.
Anonymous
A smile confuses an approaching frown.
Anonymous
Every smile makes you a day younger.
Chinese proverb
A smile is happiness you’ll find right under your nose.
Tom Wilson
People seldom notice old clothes if you wear a big smile.
Lee Mildon
Cute smile quotes
I’ve fallen in love many times…always with you
Anonymous
The only time I want to be near you is forever.
Anonymous
I know your life can go on without me, that you can be happy without me, that you can survive without me. But even if you turn me away, I will still choose to stay with you and be your sweetest strange forever.
Anonymous
Everytime I see you I fall in love all over again.
Anonymous
The first thing I imagined when i saw the word ‘love’ is you.
Anonymous
Keep smiling quotes
Keep smiling and stay strong. Even if things are falling apart. Even if you’re breaking down.
Marshy Marsh
A smile doesn’t exactly show how happy you are, but indeed a smile on your face shows how strong enough you are in fighting back your problems in life.
Manna Chism Sangma
Smiling doesn’t always mean you’re happy with everything. Sometimes it just means you’re strong enogh to accept it and make the best of it
Anonymous
The fact that you can still smile after all the bullshit that you’ve been through shows how strong you are.
Sonya Parker
You used to be the reason I smiled everyday, but now I smile because I lived another day.
Anonymous
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